


Pure

by Mother_North



Series: Of Gravity & Opposition [6]
Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Bathroom Sex, Confessions, Depression, Emotional, Facials, Light Angst, M/M, POV First Person, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Psychology, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 15:26:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12986958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_North/pseuds/Mother_North
Summary: A Post GPF installment of the “Gravity & Opposition” series in which Nathan’s feelings for Yuzuru crystallize in the blinding purity of the moment, making them both burn.





	Pure

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I’ve tried…  
> RPF disclaimer applies to this work of fiction fully. This work is totally fictional and is not meant to offend anyone.   
> Enjoy.

**

 _…Is this desire_  
Enough enough  
To lift us higher  
To lift above?

— Is this Desire? by PJ Harvey

**POV Nathan**

I closed my eyes, sighing tiredly. The Gala was over as well as the closing banquet and I had to leave Nagoya with the rest of the USA team on the following day. My eyes set on the shining medal, lying on the bedside table. It was shining dully in the yellow lamplight of the hotel room. It had been crafted beautifully, with so much care and attention to details, its aesthetic quality being undeniable . It is the best medal I’ve ever had, at least _for now_. Yet it felt a bit surreal still. I couldn’t believe I had really won and the numbers on the scoreboard looked nothing short of ridiculous. _0.5. point_ of a margin had turned out to be enough for me to win, enough for me to keep the promise I had given you, albeit half-jokingly. It was a miracle, for I bombed my free skate so badly on that day I felt embarrassed to receive congratulations and Rafael Vladimirovich was patting my shoulders reassuringly, whispering into my ear: “Don’t you even dare thinking you haven’t deserved it.” Oh, but I did, for sure. The realization of me winning my first Grand-Prix Final had dawned upon me while I was standing on the top step of the podium with Shoma by my side. His eyes were shining and I caught a trace of disappointment and bitterness in them. You asked me to win and somehow I had managed to do it, even though my smiles were mostly forced on that evening and the victory had left a sour taste in my mouth. It just didn’t feel right: the mood, the atmosphere, the overall pulsebeat of the whole tournament. Something vital was amiss. _Someone_ very important was missing, to be exact.

It would be a dissimulation to say that I wasn’t happy at all that I had won — no, I surely was. I had interrupted your four-year winning streak and I had become the number one contender for the Olympic gold in Pyeongchang. It had increased the pressure on my shoulders immensely and I was trying my best to chase away the thoughts of what I “had to do” or “was expected to do at all costs from now on”. I couldn’t let myself be crushed by all of the expectations and I couldn’t even start to imagine how you must have felt, being the defending champion and having proclaimed the second Olympic win as your ultimate goal. It was scary to think of all of the possible outcomes and I knew that my time to do so had not come yet. There was my coach for such things. I trusted his great experience and vision to distribute a proper and successful strategy. The only thing which had become absolutely clear after my performance here is that I still had much to work on and I had all the desire and determination to prove that I was able to do it. I had to concentrate on my work and do the best I could to keep my focus laser-sharp while training hellishly hard. I couldn’t spare myself and I had no intention to. But today I felt exhausted and I was grateful that I had survived these super intense GP series, miraculously coming on top as their winner, against all the odds.

I scanned through an avalanche of congratulatory messages on my mobile phone and found the one from you, which you had sent to me earlier, after my disastrous free skate.

“ _Congratulations_ ”

You gave out just one word for me. I imagined hearing it from you in person continuously: the way your lips would move and the sparkle of your impossible eyes… I would have given a lot to feel your arms around my neck in a celebratory hug. I was crazy enough to imagine that you would appear in front of my hotel door in a surprising visit, here in Nagoya. You were on the other side of the world and it was foolish and naïve to think that you’d cross half of the planet just to see me, for _you were not like me_.

We have spoken briefly just once since then, I called you on the day of your birthday to wish you some quite banal things but I truly meant each one of them. It seemed to me you were smiling at the other end of the line. I even bought you a present, just a trifle of a gift— a tiny _Maneki-neko_ figurine. I thought some luck was exactly what you needed. The present was far from being original and, perhaps, you had tones of similar lucky charms but it was from your native land and I wanted to give it to you still.

I have to confess that I was indulging myself in recollections of our last meeting at your house in Toronto often. At nighttime it became especially unbearable, my eyelids closing only to see your flushed face and parted lips again and again. I thought it was wild, what we did back then right on your kitchen table, and it seemed that I wanted the repetition badly. But what had scared me was the fact that not only my body had been involved but my soul too. As I recalled watching you chewing down on my half-ass prepared toasts with appetite, I felt a surge of unmistakable fondness. I cared and it did matter a big deal. You let me stay in your house for that night, Yumi-san agreeing on me sleeping on the sofa in the living-room. I crawled into your room, after all of the lights had been put out. I wasn’t able to fall asleep and after a quiet knock at your door and seemingly endless wait you opened it finally. You didn’t let me in though, kissing me goodnight with the merest touch of your lips and gesturing for me to get out, mouthing that I needed to be a good boy and that you wouldn’t do _anything,_ not with your mother sleeping unsuspectingly behind the wall.

Visions of you kept on haunting me and I knew not of the remedy. I’ve decided that it was too early to seek it yet. After we made love last time I thought I saw something in your eyes — an _emotion_ , a scintilla of reciprocity for which I was ready to fight. I told myself that I didn’t purely imagined it. I needed this notion to sleep at night, to keep on going with my pursuit, far from you, deprived of your actual presence. But in my thoughts you were the one to reign supreme.

We shared a hotel room with Adam but he hadn’t returned from the banquet yet and I decided that it was the time. Fourteen hours difference between Nagoya and Toronto didn’t prevent me from logging into my Skype on my laptop to video-call you. You answered after quite some time. You were sitting at the desk and I recognized the surroundings as your room. The blinds were drawn and your form was illuminated only by the table lamp, left to your side. You looked deathly pale, your chiseled cheekbones being sharpened even further, no trace of ease on your collected face.

“Hi”, I smiled trying to ignite you with the warmth of my eyes but to no avail.

“Hi, Nathan”, the tone of your voice sounded bleak.

“How are you, Yuzu? How is your ankle?”

“Fine,” It didn’t escape me the way your jaw tensed visibly while answering my caring question.

“How did you celebrate your birthday? I hope you had fun.”

“Oh,yes. I did.” You pulled down the collar of your v-neck sweatshirt to reveal a blooming hickey at the juncture of your shoulder and neck, your eyes scanning my face keenly. A scolding wave washed over me, from tip to toe, but I didn’t let a single muscle flinch, my reflection staying neutral.

 _He_ was in Toronto too. Of course, he was.

The awkward silence between us was interrupted by your quiet voice:

“I thought you did really badly but I am glad that you won.”

“What a nice way to congratulate me, Yuzu. I appreciate. Thanks! ”

You huffed half-heartedly. Well, at least, I managed to evoke some kind of emotional response from you. You looked as if being down and I knew there had to be a good reason behind it, which you were far from eager to share with me, apparently.

“Have you already started training again?” The question left my lips before I could weigh properly whether you wanted me to address the topic of your injury directly. It was dictated by my sheer concern for you and your well-being, yet your reaction was somewhat anticipated. You snapped at me.

“I am fine! I’ve told you already!” biting your lower lip and averting your eyes, you seemed irritated at your own momentarily slip of self-control. You gave everything out with the way you answered, making me see all of the frustration and insecurity coiling inside you. I knew I had to do something for I hated seeing you in such a depressed state. A crease between your eyebrows looked criminally alien on your face, which had been seemingly made for joy and light only.

“I need to see you, Yuzu. Please, let me…”

“For what? I don’t need help. I am fine. _Fine_!” The stress you put on the final word had only made it sound like a veiled cry for help. You loved to seem tough and invincible, yet I knew the extent of vulnerability and your inner sensitivity lying underneath the hard veneer. A masque-like expression on your face couldn’t hide the flame raging in your eyes.

“Ok, you are fine, I see. But I am not… I miss you terribly… _I need you_.”  Perhaps, I sucker-punched you but I had to. I let all of my sincere longing and need flood my dark eyes, exposing my unguarded feelings for you to see.

You blinked twice before sighing exasperatedly.

“I do not want to hurt you, Nathan. You are good. _Too good for me_.”

I flinched, shocked by the enormity of your claim.

“That’s just nonsense, Yuzu. We both know it.” I wanted to eliminate your insecurity and say that it’s always darkest right before the dawn or something akin but I felt that the words would seem shallow, the true intent and feelings being lost in the virtual space that was separating us. If only I could look you in the eyes personally in the flesh.

“I’ll fly to you tomorrow, ok? And we’ll speak. Don’t deny me. Please.” A flicker of surprise crossed your face but you nodded reluctantly.

“I’ve got something for you and I hope you’ll like it.” I smiled lightly, wanting to dispel your tacit gloom.

“I hope it’s not _your golden medal_. I do not want to see it.” You let bitterness pervade your tone.

“No, though it’s really beautiful, your fellow countrymen know their job well. Only the best comes from here — from Japan. And you yourself, of course, are of no exception.”

Your discreet smile made my heart hammer. After I had told you about Shoma almost falling asleep peacefully during the banquet and Adam bringing the house down with his performance at the gala concert, we ended our conversation on a bit brighter note.

I distinctly felt that I had to be there for you, maybe, for the briefest of times but I had to. I was going to reach for you once again and I hoped that you would reach me back in return. You were always a center of gravity — for me, for _him,_ for everyone who happened to know and love you. I didn’t want the core of my solar system shift and I there is no way I would let it extinguish.

I forced myself to dive into some restless sleep, nervous and physical exertion of the previous days taking its toll on me. I flew to the States on the following morning with the rest of my team mates, as it had been planned initially, and after having told Rafael Vladimirovich that I required some well-deserved rest from my training for a couple of days, I headed straight to Toronto after a day of much needed repose.

Looking at the rising sun through the airplane window, I felt a tingle of anticipation born in my limbs, as I was gaining height speedily along with the aircraft; the realization of me being able to see you in just several hours was filling me with inexplicit elation.

**

After I had landed in Toronto I sent you a sms-message, saying that I’d be at your house in approximately hour time. I checked into a hotel downtown not wanting to exploit your mother’s hospitality anymore. It didn’t seem appropriate to stay for the night again and I wasn’t sure that I would receive an invitation once more. Besides, I wanted it to be only the two of us.

The skies were clear blue and the air frosty, making the hoar sparkle on the tree branches festively. I thought that, perhaps, we could go somewhere and have a dinner together. If you needed to be at the Cricket Club by a certain time I could take you there, just dropping you at its doors and then driving away immediately, not causing any unnecessary rumors. Not to mention, there was a high level of probability of a _certain someone_ being there too and I didn’t feel like I was ready to look _him_ in the eyes just yet.

Having rented a silvery Volkswagen four-door Sedan with GPS, I drove to the place where you lived, being there five minutes ahead of the appointed time. You specified that you didn’t want me to come inside the house, saying that I’d better wait in the car outside. I had no idea what exactly you had told your mother about your sudden desire to have a time on your own but I parked my car obediently behind the corner and started waiting for you patiently.

In twenty minutes I saw your slender figure approaching the car swiftly, dressed in all-black and with a dark hoodie on. You took the front seat and motioned me to drive away at once, looking at the rear mirror apprehensively. I obeyed, frowning a bit. Having dictated the address of a sushi-bar you deemed worthy of a visit, you were staring at the road unflinchingly out of the car window. The heavy silence between us lingering for far longer then I wanted it to.

“Why have you come?” Your unhoped question startled me from my concentrated driving.

“You know the answer, Yuzu. And, please, don’t pretend it being otherwise.”

You swallowed hard, studying your fingernails intently for some moments.

“Stop the car.”

I casted you a surprised glance at such a request but stepped on the brakes anyway, parking the car at the roadside. The next moment your arms flew around my neck and your lips crushed against mine. You kissed my gasping mouth with force, as if aiming to prove me something or as if being engaged in some kind of an unknown battle. I returned the kiss fiercely, forgetting that we were actually in a car parked at the side of the road in the middle of a bright day. Your demanding tongue has made me moan into your mouth with raw need. But you withdrew just as abruptly, your fingers spread flat on my chest, preventing me from following your lips.

“Now let’s drive.” You breathed out and I gulped, still shaken by the sheer intensity of our unexpectedly shared kiss.

The sushi-bar you have chosen was quite nice with the interior suitably styled in a traditional way and Japanese cuisine served masterfully at our table. I’ve never eaten a more delicious _sukiyaki_ in my life while you have had some miso soup. It looked a bit like a date, except that I was bubbling constantly and you were alarmingly silent, listening to my endless traveling anecdotes and different stories of me fooling around with Jason and Adam at the tournament. I’ve tried my best to cheer you up and a faint smile graced your features from time to time. Suddenly, I have realized that, perhaps, you were missing it greatly, wanting to compete at the highest level once again. You were eager to feel the thrill and rush of a tournament, to sense the vibe of an adoring crowd worshipping your every move. It felt intoxicating and it was absolutely vital to you. It was an essential part of your nature to struggle and conquer and to aspire higher — always.

 _A beautiful bird with its powerful wings having been clipped so cruelly_.

I felt a lump rising at the back of my throat — wasn’t it too selfish of me telling you about all of my great time in Nagoya, as if rubbing your unfortunate absence there like salt into the still unhealed cut..?  It looked like you have lost your appetite completely and I needed to do something quickly.

“Oh, I’ve bought you something, by the way! Look here, Yuzu. It’s white and cute and I sincerely hope that its magical swinging paw will bring you some luck because… Because it’s truly _not the same without you_.”

I put a little figurine of a white neko-cat on the table between us, my eyes never leaving yours, meaning deeply each of my words. Your lips curved and a poignant laugh made my heart stutter for a split of a second but your long fingers closed over mine in a gesture of genuine gratitude and I felt warmth spreading all over my body momentarily.

“Thank you, Nathan. It’s very cute. It really is…” I beamed.

Looking straight at me with the unmistakable hunger in your impenetrable eyes, you said:

“Will you take me out of here right now? I want you.”

It was achingly blatant and overwhelmingly intense at the same time — to hear you stating your desire to be with me so boldly. I shivered involuntarily, feeling the first pang of excitement knocking the breath out of me.

“Sure. Whatever it is that you want… _Anything_ , Yuzu.”

The ride to my hotel dragged seemingly endlessly and the tension between us was almost suffocating. The slightly lost expression on your face was being changed by the rugged determination only to be replaced by the sunken melancholy again, in a never-ending moody rollercoaster. I wanted to ease your inner turmoil desperately, I needed to find a way to reach inside of you and dispel the accursed spell of depression and anxiousness. I was more than willing, because at that moment, I realized that you needed me feeling for you badly, despite of your stubborn inability of acknowledging it aloud.

As soon as the door of my number had been closed behind us, you were all over me: your mouth seeking mine ardently, hands pushing me down into the bedcover forcefully. I saw you shaking visibly, as if in a severe fit of a fever, and I didn’t even think of resisting when your impatient fingers went straight into the opened fly of my jeans to start stroking me firmly at once. I threw my head back and moaned helplessly as your lips closed over my heated flesh overbearingly. The wet slide of your avid mouth was driving me up a wall with desire. I felt your throat constricting devilishly around my erect cock as you swallowed deliberately, making me cry out from the achingly potent pleasure. My trembling hands took hold of your head, hips establishing a hectic rhythm for I couldn’t restrain myself from thrusting up into your eager mouth. I was nearing my climax embarrassingly fast and I growled in warning. You withdrew shortly, your hand keeping on stroking me roughly from base to tip. Your thumb was pressing knowingly to the sensitive underside of my cock and a particularly delightful twist of your wrist had coaxed my orgasm out of me. I looked down, slack-jawed, to watch my hot sperm spurting all over your flushed face: pearly drops staining the smooth skin of your cheek and nose, shooting over the red cupid-bow of your abused lips and the pointed tip of your refined chin. I thought I would come again just from the sight alone.

With eyes shut tightly and my body being a total wreck from the overwhelming sensations, I heard you retreating to the bathroom right afterwards, the sound of running water reaching me through the wild pounding of my heartbeat in my ears. The realization of _what exactly_ you had just let me do to you, some mere minutes ago, made me feel nothing short of delirious.  

However, time went by but it didn’t seem like you were intending on appearing from the bathroom, the sound of streamy water intensifying. Having regained some of my senses, I got up and went to see if everything was alright with you. A tiny worm of guilt started gnawing nastily at the very bottom of my heart, not that I had forced you in any way or something, but, maybe, it was a tad too much…I needed to make sure for myself.

The hotel bathroom was spacious with a big hot tub in its corner. Your clothes were scattered across the white tiled floor in disarray as you were sitting relaxed, water risen up to the level of your naked chest, one of your long legs bent at the knee to rest on the side of the marmoreal bathtub. Your head was thrown back jauntily and your moist hair was slicked from your sweaty forehead. My gaze was travelling slowly from the exposed pale delicacy of your swanlike neck to your tiny dark nipples, visible above the water surface. A new wave of dire want scorched me again with frightening force.

 _You were indecently beautiful_.

Perhaps, I made a sound for you opened your eyes lazily, two obsidian depths calling out for me. I took off all of my clothes under your unwavering gaze and kneeled, my hand closing around your right ankle to pepper it with gentle kisses. Your breath hitched at this gesture of my unbridled fondness. I licked your knee once before stepping into the water to lie down — our moist, naked bodies flush against each other. Your legs pulled up to clutch over my strong hips tightly. I was kissing you deeply with ever growing urgency, our tongues engaged in a passionate battle for dominance. I bit your lower lip sensually before moving to your neck — to suck at your velvety skin hungrily, leaving my own mark there, next to a trace of _his_ already fading hickey. A voluptuous moan left your parted lips as your fingers dug into my slippery shoulders.

“Fuck…I want you so much, Yuzu.”

My tongue was teasing your earlobe as I pinched one of your pert nipples hard. You groaned, hands sliding down my spine to cup my muscular ass in a possessive manner. I couldn’t wait any further.

Turning you over, I made you stand on all fours, with your hands grabbing an edge of a bathtub for additional support. Kneeling behind, I noticed a small shiver of excitement running down your wet body. You were extremely turned on. Your skin was glistening gloriously as I was covering the small of your back with open-mouthed kisses.

“May I taste you, Yuzu? Please.”

My voice sounded notably hoarse. I was feeling heady, my head spinning from arousal as I spread your perfect asscheeks apart. You whimpered unashamedly and I took it for the affirmative answer as my heart started beating maddeningly fast. I’ve never done _this_ before to anyone and I felt positively nervous, to tell the truth. But, nevertheless, I dared to lick a wide, languid stripe in one of the most intimate places of your body experimentally. Your peculiar flavor was tingling my tongue specifically, making me greedy for more. You arched gracefully, your mouth agape, as I was opening you up with my tongue carefully. You were _divine_ and I couldn’t get enough, your loud groans of pleasure resonating from the bathroom walls. I’ve never done anything even remotely as obscene as this in my whole life before and, I realized, shockingly, that I didn’t want to stop in the first place — my tongue dipping into your hot tightness incessantly. One of my hands was caressing the tender skin of your inner thigh soothingly as I found a bottle of massage oil blindingly with the other, my mouth never leaving your delicate flesh.

A broken cry escaped you as I added two of my fingers to where my tongue was, making you shudder in a violent delight. My motions were slow yet forceful at the same time. I caressed your slender wet back with my lips, my fingers buried deep in your quivering body to hit your sweet spot with each of their invading thrusts. I could feel that you were already close and I pulled my hand back abruptly, only to have it replaced with my painfully hard cock instantly. You trembled, feverish groans spilling from your lips as I took you in one powerful stroke of my narrow hips. You were clenching me heavenly and I couldn’t make myself move because it took all of my restraint not to spill into you at once. Trying to regain some semblance of control, I started thrusting at a deliberately slow pace, yet as deep as possible each single time. Your body was moving in synch with mine to build a satisfying rhythm. I found a needed angle pretty soon and I was watching you wither beneath me in an agonizing pleasure as my hands were gripping your wasp waist. I felt as if I could fuck you like this for the rest of eternity and it would be still not enough. I cherished the feeling of being drown completely in the sweetness of your melodious moans, of being immersed entirely in your body.

You never failed to evoke something feral inside of me and I felt myself losing it all too soon, a sharp pleasure assaulting my senses with unrelenting force. My fingers found your nipple and twisted it violently as I bit down at your protruding collarbone lustily. It was all you could take to fall apart completely, convulsing around me frantically as your body was raked by the torturously strong orgasm. Not being able to bite back my own cry of ecstasy, I came deep inside you: my hot essence filling you up as your sensual moans pierced me to the very core of my gist. I felt myself floating in space, the force of gravity unknown to my helplessly trembling body.

We were sitting in the rapidly cooling water for some time, basking in the afterglow of our lovemaking. Both of us were exhausted and you refused to move even the slightest. At long last, I dried you carefully with a towel and took you to the bed, lying down next to your slender body. You felt so delicate in my arms and I thrived at the feeling each time I found you close to me. My fingertips were tracing the outline of your neck and I sighed contentedly as I heard you whispering quietly:

“He loves you more.” Your dark eyelashes fluttered against the silky skin of your pale cheeks.

I didn’t get about whom exactly you were talking about.

“What are you talking about?”

“ _Quad Lutz_. He loves you more than me.” I thought I felt your lips pouting capriciously against my skin. I chuckled, it sounded both strange and amusing simultaneously.

“But _I do love you more_ than him or anyone else, for that matter.” The impulsive confession slipped from my lips without a second thought, it felt absolutely legit at that moment with you encased safely in my arms. My cheeks heated up from the realization of what I had just done. I felt you tensing up against me in an instant and a wave of sticky panic rushed over me.

You moved away to look into my face closely, your expression being serious as your teeth were worrying your lower lip anxiously. You looked trapped and I regretted my hasty confession, perhaps, you were not ready to hear it and I hated myself for making you feel so vulnerable. I was afraid I might shy you away and I cupped your face tenderly.  

“You don’t have to say anything, Yuzuru. Not now. I know about the way you feel and I know about _him,_ I have no doubts that it feels too complicated to you right now but…God, I am so stupid… I am ready to give you as much time as you possibly need. And…”

I smiled, trying to lighten some of the impending awkwardness with a joke.  

“Do you want me to go to the Olympics and win a golden medal there for you? I would place it at your feet without a second of hesitation! ”

Your fist kicked me into the upper arm tangibly and relief washed over me as I saw your eyes lighten up with a competitive gleam.

“ _Don’t you dare_!”

“Then, maybe, one more kiss from you, your _extra Majesty_ , will make me reconsider my initial intentions…”

Your insistent lips shut me up in no time and I felt your whole body melting into my embrace. I didn’t know what future held in store for us, I didn’t want to think about it at that particular, precious moment. I decided that if you would care to listen I could share some tips concerning my quad lutz technique with you and that I would be really happy to see you standing on the podium next to me at Pyeongchang, regardless of the final outcome of the Games.

I needed you near, at least from time to time so far, and I needed you _happy_ in spite of all of the falls, be them literal or figurative.

My impossibly pure Yuzuru.

**

**Author's Note:**

> Your feedback is appreciated. Thank you.


End file.
